mom:  wake up
me:  *maybe if I pretend i'm dead she'll go away*

gay male:  i'm gay
straight female:  OMG UR GAY LET'S BE BFFS CAN WE GO SHOPPING TOGETHER OMG
gay female:  i'm gay
straight female:  EW GET AWAY FROM ME U DYKE DONT TOUCH ME GROSS LESBIAN GERMS  And let's not forget -
Gay female:  I'm gay
Straight male:  OMG SO HOT. DAMN. CAN I FUCK YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND WHILE SOMEONE FILMS IT. TOUCH HER BOOOBS. BOOOOOOOOBS.
Gay male:  I'm gay
Straight male:  HOLY SHIT IT'S A HOMO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME FUCKIN HOMO. BACKS AGAINST THE WALL GUYS.
My response:  
Anyone ever:  I'm gay
Me:  awesome.

lesbianmoisturizerclub:

1. It reduces the surprise of saying “I’m gay” out loud.
2. It usually fends off boys.
3. If it doesn’t fend off boys, at least it attracts other lesbians.
4. It’s a natural transition from being a nervous queer, to a “fucking proud of who I am” lesbian.
5. It screams badass from a mile away, and is often a great conversation starter.
6. It’s a great way to stay in shape.

End of list.